Is now 18.
His mother, as she refers to herself gave him 2 pairs of tracksuit pants and 1 polo shirt for his EIGHTEENTH FUCKING BIRTHDAY. That was his present from both of his parents. His brother and sister put in together and got him a navigator which is a semi decent present and doesn't seem so stingy. But you would think that being a significant birthday then would go to just a tiny bit of effort. Apparently not.
On the other hand, my parents bought him a fully paid holiday to Queensland with my sister for a week, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a suitcase as he doesn't own one.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ambition, or lack thereof.
Something that really irks me is when people have no ambition to do anything with their life. Just step back, and look at what you have. Sure you might have loved and lost but you still have plenty of things to be thankful for and to appreciate. Even I can still do this. Sure people have been through worse than me, but also, people have been through a lot less. Therefore I like to think I have a reasonable opinion on this sort of thing.
It's so frustrating when people hit 25 and they still have done nothing with their life. Even more frustrating when it's because they have no interest in it. Well what do you have an interest in then? Being bored?
I have this friend who is 23 this year. She left school in year 10 because it was getting to the point where she really needed to think to pass the classes and automatic progression was no longer a rite of passage. Next, she took up a full time job in a cafe where she still works now. All fine and dandy to do, but, she hasn't actually progressed by having done this, she's just halted at a stand still. She has saved no money, she has never been on a decent holiday and she doesn't want to which is the must frustrating thing ever. It makes me wonder what she's going to do when all her friends are done partying and they start doing things with their life. She's going to have to start from where they were 4 or so years ago and she is going to be very far behind. Even if she didn't want to travel or buy a house or anything of that degree don't you think it would make some kind of sense to have actually saved some money?
But, that's just my opinion.
Sure, I went through staged where I hardly paid any attention to my savings and consequently didn't save much at all. However, I did pay off all my debt still.
I know this shouldn't frustrate me enough to actually make a rant of a post on it but it just does!
It's so frustrating when people hit 25 and they still have done nothing with their life. Even more frustrating when it's because they have no interest in it. Well what do you have an interest in then? Being bored?
I have this friend who is 23 this year. She left school in year 10 because it was getting to the point where she really needed to think to pass the classes and automatic progression was no longer a rite of passage. Next, she took up a full time job in a cafe where she still works now. All fine and dandy to do, but, she hasn't actually progressed by having done this, she's just halted at a stand still. She has saved no money, she has never been on a decent holiday and she doesn't want to which is the must frustrating thing ever. It makes me wonder what she's going to do when all her friends are done partying and they start doing things with their life. She's going to have to start from where they were 4 or so years ago and she is going to be very far behind. Even if she didn't want to travel or buy a house or anything of that degree don't you think it would make some kind of sense to have actually saved some money?
But, that's just my opinion.
Sure, I went through staged where I hardly paid any attention to my savings and consequently didn't save much at all. However, I did pay off all my debt still.
I know this shouldn't frustrate me enough to actually make a rant of a post on it but it just does!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Because you've gotta have faith.
In one short conversation with a 17 year old who happened to be extremely drunk my perspective on life changed.
Said 17 year old happens to be my younger sisters boyfriend. He is turning 18 on Thursday so Happy Birthday to him. I bought him a bottle of Jim Beam and a card because he's such a lovely kid he deserves it. I have a slight feeling I won't have his mothers approval of alcohol being purchased for such a "young" person, but, fuck her. It's my gift and I will buy what I like.
Anyway, he was retrieved from a train station after a party by me recently and we got talking about kids relationships with their parents, in particular, his relationship with his own mother. Now keep in mind on Mothers day he spent more money on my mother than his own.
His own, apparently calls him nasty names in public, bullies him into going to church most, if not all Sundays by ensuring that he will feel crap about himself if he doesn't go even if it is just to please her. Now don't you think that might be a bit of a lie in God's eyes? Going to church purely for the sake of pleasing your mother I mean.
Personally, I have hardly gotten along perfectly well with my own mother over the years but at no point in time has she ever made me feel so horrible about myself that I legitimately wish I didn't live there or that I didn't have to force the words "I love you mum" out of my mouth every night.
She is so caught up in people being so, well, what she perceives as perfect that she isn't capable of just appreciating what she has and honestly I feel a bit sorry for her. Incapable of acting as though she loves her own children because she's afraid that someone will judge her because they missed a day of church- never mind the fact they don't believe in religion at all, got a foul at basketball (she shouted out that her son was an idiot, not once, but twice in front of at least 40 other people, including his girlfriend and her parents), or had a little bit too much to drink at a friends 18th. Now, if my child did all those things, and I hope they do, then I will congratulate them, because everyone will be imperfect in someones eyes, and if that's the worst they do then I fucking hope someone congratulates them.
Said 17 year old happens to be my younger sisters boyfriend. He is turning 18 on Thursday so Happy Birthday to him. I bought him a bottle of Jim Beam and a card because he's such a lovely kid he deserves it. I have a slight feeling I won't have his mothers approval of alcohol being purchased for such a "young" person, but, fuck her. It's my gift and I will buy what I like.
Anyway, he was retrieved from a train station after a party by me recently and we got talking about kids relationships with their parents, in particular, his relationship with his own mother. Now keep in mind on Mothers day he spent more money on my mother than his own.
His own, apparently calls him nasty names in public, bullies him into going to church most, if not all Sundays by ensuring that he will feel crap about himself if he doesn't go even if it is just to please her. Now don't you think that might be a bit of a lie in God's eyes? Going to church purely for the sake of pleasing your mother I mean.
Personally, I have hardly gotten along perfectly well with my own mother over the years but at no point in time has she ever made me feel so horrible about myself that I legitimately wish I didn't live there or that I didn't have to force the words "I love you mum" out of my mouth every night.
She is so caught up in people being so, well, what she perceives as perfect that she isn't capable of just appreciating what she has and honestly I feel a bit sorry for her. Incapable of acting as though she loves her own children because she's afraid that someone will judge her because they missed a day of church- never mind the fact they don't believe in religion at all, got a foul at basketball (she shouted out that her son was an idiot, not once, but twice in front of at least 40 other people, including his girlfriend and her parents), or had a little bit too much to drink at a friends 18th. Now, if my child did all those things, and I hope they do, then I will congratulate them, because everyone will be imperfect in someones eyes, and if that's the worst they do then I fucking hope someone congratulates them.
Friday, May 21, 2010
RANT: An Opinion.
Now, regarding the couple that I was referring to before, now said boy just got really nasty.
I gave you time to deal with it but it's been a while, not long enough to have gotten over the entire situation completely, in no way do I expect that. I am simply telling, no longer am I asking, that you stop whinging about me to my friends and my boyfriend. By all means, you can make people I have never met think I am a junkie bitch but do not fucking DARE tell my friends that I am when you know oh so very well that it's not.
I might struggle with some things due to my own issues but there isn't a chance in hell I am going to lose what I have left because you are an emotional retard.
Also, regarding the junkie bitch comments, I may have taken a few drugs in my day but you my friends are the junkie. There is something that makes a junkie more than just occasional drug use. You my, well, no, you're not my friend. You take drugs because you cannot cope with the fact your relationship is ending and despite a large quantity of warning before, during, and after you are just noticing now that it will never be repaired. I was taking drugs occasionally because of the way they made me feel. I enjoyed what they made me feel NOT what they made me not feel. Now there is a fine line between recreation and dependence and you are flirting with it.
I gave you time to deal with it but it's been a while, not long enough to have gotten over the entire situation completely, in no way do I expect that. I am simply telling, no longer am I asking, that you stop whinging about me to my friends and my boyfriend. By all means, you can make people I have never met think I am a junkie bitch but do not fucking DARE tell my friends that I am when you know oh so very well that it's not.
I might struggle with some things due to my own issues but there isn't a chance in hell I am going to lose what I have left because you are an emotional retard.
Also, regarding the junkie bitch comments, I may have taken a few drugs in my day but you my friends are the junkie. There is something that makes a junkie more than just occasional drug use. You my, well, no, you're not my friend. You take drugs because you cannot cope with the fact your relationship is ending and despite a large quantity of warning before, during, and after you are just noticing now that it will never be repaired. I was taking drugs occasionally because of the way they made me feel. I enjoyed what they made me feel NOT what they made me not feel. Now there is a fine line between recreation and dependence and you are flirting with it.
Ignoring all prior advice and forewarning.
So many people told me not to, but I did it anyway.
It wasn't a selfish act, in fact, it's probably a selfless act.
What he did was a selfish act.
You sat there and you told me you loved me. You told me to come over.
You went home, and you killed yourself.
Now there was no "I" in any of those sentences, so why do I feel guilty?
You were the one that lied to me. You put this on me. It may not have been your intention but it was the result nonetheless.
I don't want to feel guilty, but I did. Now I don't. I did for a very very long time, but not anymore. What you did was selfish. I went to your house and you knew I was coming, but you still let me see what I saw. You knew it would be me. For that I hate you, and I feel guilty now not for your death but for the feelings I associate with you. Your name carries such a negative connotation in my mind that I'm too ashamed to tell anyone.
I've realised that this will most likely keep replaying over and over in my mind until I actually tell someone about it. But since I'm not yet brave enough to do so I'm going to post everything running through my mind here instead.
Baby steps is the key.
One of my friends is currently struggling with a second break up with the same girl. It makes me want to scream in his face something along the lines of GET SOME REAL PROBLEMS but something stops me. Maybe because life teaches you better than anyone in your life will be able to, therefore we all learn different things and alas one cannot judge anothers reaction unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.
What frustrates me the most is that they broke up because he was being too clingy and just generally overly paranoid about every little thing. Constantly calling her to see where she was and who she was with, that sort of stuff.
Eventually, she forgave him, he promised he would change, the usual sort of reconciliation one would go through in a situation such as that.
However, after a few weeks everything was slowly sliding very quickly back to the way it was. Alarm bells started ringing in said girls head and she contemplated ending the relationship. At this point in time said boy was being warned not only by his friends but said girl that if things continued, it would end.
So, he ignored everyone in his life and continued acting the way he was and BAM, relationship over. Now one would generally be empathetic in a situation like this as most people would know how horrible it is to be broken up with. But feel empathy for someone who dug his own grave? Lie in it?
That's probably as selfish as it gets. He didn't learn the first time, however he had help this time, and experience which is probably the most valuable thing one can be given in a situation like this. He was offered so much advice, surely something inside him was just SCREAMING at max volume that something was wrong. Maybe not, I guess I don't know for sure this is all just a theory.
It wasn't a selfish act, in fact, it's probably a selfless act.
What he did was a selfish act.
You sat there and you told me you loved me. You told me to come over.
You went home, and you killed yourself.
Now there was no "I" in any of those sentences, so why do I feel guilty?
You were the one that lied to me. You put this on me. It may not have been your intention but it was the result nonetheless.
I don't want to feel guilty, but I did. Now I don't. I did for a very very long time, but not anymore. What you did was selfish. I went to your house and you knew I was coming, but you still let me see what I saw. You knew it would be me. For that I hate you, and I feel guilty now not for your death but for the feelings I associate with you. Your name carries such a negative connotation in my mind that I'm too ashamed to tell anyone.
I've realised that this will most likely keep replaying over and over in my mind until I actually tell someone about it. But since I'm not yet brave enough to do so I'm going to post everything running through my mind here instead.
Baby steps is the key.
One of my friends is currently struggling with a second break up with the same girl. It makes me want to scream in his face something along the lines of GET SOME REAL PROBLEMS but something stops me. Maybe because life teaches you better than anyone in your life will be able to, therefore we all learn different things and alas one cannot judge anothers reaction unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.
What frustrates me the most is that they broke up because he was being too clingy and just generally overly paranoid about every little thing. Constantly calling her to see where she was and who she was with, that sort of stuff.
Eventually, she forgave him, he promised he would change, the usual sort of reconciliation one would go through in a situation such as that.
However, after a few weeks everything was slowly sliding very quickly back to the way it was. Alarm bells started ringing in said girls head and she contemplated ending the relationship. At this point in time said boy was being warned not only by his friends but said girl that if things continued, it would end.
So, he ignored everyone in his life and continued acting the way he was and BAM, relationship over. Now one would generally be empathetic in a situation like this as most people would know how horrible it is to be broken up with. But feel empathy for someone who dug his own grave? Lie in it?
That's probably as selfish as it gets. He didn't learn the first time, however he had help this time, and experience which is probably the most valuable thing one can be given in a situation like this. He was offered so much advice, surely something inside him was just SCREAMING at max volume that something was wrong. Maybe not, I guess I don't know for sure this is all just a theory.
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